The Beauty of Vulnerability: Part Two

Preface: Removing the Jesus Band-Aids

Journal Entry: Thursday, June 16, 2011

Iris Harvest School of Missions 14 – Pemba, Mozambique

Last night our class split into guys and girls for separate time of worship. As the guys made strange manly warrior noises from a hut just up the hill, the girls focused on Daddy God’s love for us. As we focused on how He sees us, how He delights in us, we also “cut off the heads” of any lies/fears that we have believed.

For me the night began with remembering what it was like to have a daddy who delighted in me… what it was like to be daddy’s little girl… and how much I have missed this and longed for this over the last 20 years since losing my earthly daddy. I just laid on the floor of our classroom hut and cried first for the daddy that I lost, then in thankfulness for the amazing daddy that I had… and then as Daddy God wrapped me in His embrace I began to understand that the love and adoration of my earthly daddy was only a small taste of the love and adoration that Daddy God has for me! Wow!

As other girls began to get up to confess and rebuke the lies they had believed, I realized how many things in my own life I thought the Lord had healed, I had simply allowed Him to put a “Jesus band aid” on. As we rebuked and cut off the head of insecurity, fear of abandonment, independence and self-sufficiency, wounds from abuse, etc., it was as if all these old wounds were reopened and exposed once again. I continued to just lay on the floor and cry a huge puddle as God showed His Glory through a spectacular full lunar eclipse that allowed the stars to shine with unbelievable brightness!! Yes Lord! Show us Your Glory!!

On Thursday morning I woke up feeling hung-over from so much crying and honestly confused by all the emotions of the night before. Where did it all come from? I thought the Lord had healed all these old wounds! I opened my Bible to Ezra 3 and began to read about the Israelites rebuilding the temple as they returned from the first captivity.

As I read in chapter 3 how they restore the sacrifices and rebuild the foundation of the temple, the Lord began to speak to me. He said “My temple had to be destroyed before it could be rebuilt. Your walls had to come down. I know it hurt, I know it was painful, but I love you so much that I couldn’t let you hold on to it any longer. I had to destroy it all, but last night I rebuilt your foundation! It is a solid foundation built on Christ alone. Over the next several weeks I will be rebuilding My temple in you, caringly, one brick, one Truth at a time. Let ME do the work. All you have to do is simply seek My Face. Rest in Me. Soak in the Truth I will give you each day, but allow ME to do the work. I love you, My daughter. I delight in you. I am so very proud of you. Thank you for being obedient. As your Daddy, I delight in your obedience. Now it is time to be obedient in resting and allowing Me to do the work in you.”

Then I heard Him say, “I have allowed you to be broken so you will understand the broken. You will be My vessel through which I will pour My healing love through to those I will send You to. But you have to allow Me to heal You first. I need you to know and understand healing before I can use you to heal the broken of the world. Open your heart to me. Keep your eyes on Me. Allow Me to do the work. Cease striving and just know that I am God, that I am your Healer.”

I am writing my story out of obedience to the Lord. My prayer is that as I share my journey my obedience will bring additional healing not only to my own heart and soul, but to yours as well. I pray that as you read my story you will see the grace and love of the Lord and His passionate pursuit of His beloved… that is you and me. He loves us no matter what darkness we have walked through or are currently living in. He loves us with an everlasting love. His love has no beginning and no end. His love is perfect and it casts out all fear. His love is relentless. His love never fails.

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